Want to Sew Your Dog a Corset?!

Well, you're in luck! I got an e-mail from Simplicity showing their new Steampunk offerings (which are actually pretty amazing), and I became interested in the designers who create these patterns. I stumbled across this old pattern from Arkivestry, a team of historical clothing designers. I think it's pretty adorable at first glance, and I'm seriously considering making my Henry a little cat-sized poet blouse. (Not really.) But look at the illustration:

On the right there? People, that is a DOG CORSET. Now I'm sure it isn't intended that you actually tightlace your doggy into a corset. And yes, it's fastened with Velcro in the front. And you know I support the right of humans to do all sorts of weird things to their own bodies. But a corset? On a poor defenseless pupster? It just seems wrong.

Further proof of dog corsetry (helpful green highlighting is mine):

Dog doublets, dog bonnets, lacy dog blouses. I can get behind all of these things. But I draw the line at the corset. Perhaps because it's a garment that's so fetishized. It's like putting your dog into a girdle costume. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Do you agree? Or do you think it's harmless fun? Let's hear it!

Hello, Gorgeous! Vogue Summer 2010

It's one of the most celebrated days in the sewing blogosphere - the release of the new Vogue Patterns. It's like your birthday - but it comes four times a year! March Madness for seamstresses! (Special thanks to Erica B., who was ON it - she blogged about the new designs before they even showed up on the site!) And hot damn . . . look at 1174, a strapless Cynthia Steffe design. I love everything about it, from the bustier top to the pockets. And the styling! How about the fabric? And the hair! My goodness, the hair!

And the Winner Is . . .

. . . the 90s ladies' jumpsuit! This entry, sent in by Anna, has earned the dubious title of Most Awesomely Bad Pattern EVER. It was the clear favorite for the win, taking a whopping 83% of your votes.

Anna is also the seamstress whose question I last responded to in "Dear Gertie." As you may recall, she's an Air Force wife living in Norway without a sewing machine! I hope her prize of a vintage pattern of her choice from Etsy will inspire her for when she's back up and sewing.

P.S. Anna, e-mail me and we'll work out the details!

Awesomely Bad Runners-Up

It's the last day of voting for the Most Awesomely Bad Pattern EVER! Get your vote in by midnight EST tonight. For a little fun, I thought I'd share some of the other amazing entries. Above is one of my favorites: from Meli88a, a doggie bunting with matching chapeaus!

A bizarre silver jumpsuit, accessorized with a fanny pack! Courtesy of Kristine H:

Vicky London referred to this 70s get-up as "Reba McEntire without pants":

Sonya really brought it with these racy briefs.

And an ensemble for the Matrix fan in your life!

Pat shared this fugly apron pattern--check out the couple in the upper righthand corner. How festive are they?!



And Serendity Handmade entered this very Oliver Twist get-up:

Thanks to all who entered! It's been a wild, awesomely bad ride.

Most Awesomely Bad Pattern Finalists!

Readers, a journey of a thousand miles can begin with a single pattern for apron chaps. Let's take another moment to thank ZipZapKap, who brought them into our life. (And visit her fab Etsy shop here!) Inspired by these apron chaps, you lovely readers have sent me many truly awful submissions for the Most Awesomely Bad Pattern EVER contest. You came up with some serious contenders for the coveted title, and it was very hard to narrow it down to three. But now, without further ado, I present to you the finalists.

1. Anna sent in this ladies' jumpsuit from the 90's, complete with a lacy bib. Anna says, "Worst look ever. I do not miss the 90's. These could only be worse made in plaid flannel!"

2. From Sonya, "a more formal look for your cat." (Also: what's going on with the backpack-like contraptions?)

3. And last but certainly not least, Sarah sent in this men's jumpsuit pattern, "the one on the left being the real winner here." (Don't count out the mustard yellow version, though--styled with a lovely gold medallion!)

Take the poll to make your voice heard! Voting will close this Friday at Midnight (EST). May the most awesomely bad pattern win!

Last Day for Awesomely Bad Entries!

Readers, you are not going to believe some of the entries I've gotten for the Most Awesomely Bad Pattern EVER contest! They are truly awesome in their badness. But I know there must be more heinous hilarity to be seen. So keep those entries coming! You have until midnight (EST) tonight to post your entries as a comment (click here) or to e-mail them to me at gertie [at] blogforbettersewing [dot] com.

I will pick the top (or is it bottom?) three patterns and post a poll for you to decide the winner on Monday. May the most awesomely bad pattern win!

Remember, the prize is the pattern of you choice (under 20 bucks) on Etsy!

Call for Entries: Most Awesomely Bad Pattern EVER

Let's take a moment to thank ZipZapKap, who brought to our attention her 70's McCall's pattern for apron chaps, which have to be the most sublimely horrible thing I've ever seen. Seriously, I'm (practically) speechless. It got me in the mood for a little contest here at my Blog for Better Sewing. So, I'm sending out a call for entries: can you top these apron chaps?

Please send your entry for MOST AWESOMELY BAD PATTERN EVER to me at gertie [at] blogforbettersewing [dot] com. Or post a link to your entry in the comments here! It's up to you to decide what makes a pattern awesomely bad: the design in general, the pattern art, etc. Patterns from all decades (including now) are up for entry.

The exact details of the prize are TBD, but I'm thinking it will be the pattern of your choice ($20 or less) on Etsy.

You have until the end of the day of Friday, 11/13. I'll then choose my top three and post a poll to let you choose the winner!

Update: Enter as many times as you like!

Snuggie Sewing Pattern: WTF?

Beware, my friends. Snuggie is invading both the fashion and sewing worlds. For those of you who are lucky enough to live in a culture that is untouched by the Snuggie phenomena, let me explain. (Also: can I come live with you?)

A Snuggie is a blanket. With sleeves. Because, you see, traditional blankets are so terribly inefficient! You can't, like, do stuff in blankets. Important stuff like eating and clicking the remote. Oh, and reading. (Whatever.) Amazingly, Snuggie has a major competitor which has named their product the "Slanket." (Get it? Sleeve/blanket = slanket?)

Snuggie took part in New York Fashion Week on Tuesday, which I have to say, is brilliantly cheeky of them. Jezebel wrote up some must-see hilarious faux commentary on the show here.

But the thing that gets to me is this new McCall pattern (#5970). So, this is considered a "contemporary, trendsetting design"? It's also one of those "one-hour projects" that seem to be replacing designs that are actually interesting. This is truly the Angel of Death to the sewing world, don't you think? I mean, is this where we've ended up? Really?

Come on, guys, let's all go down to Jo-Ann's and pick up some fleece with kittens printed on it! And then we'll have a Snuggie-making party! And sit on our sofas for the rest of our lives!

(I know. I'm a snob.)

I've actually heard people declare these horrid things to be fabulous and ultra cozy. While I do not doubt that one bit (the cozy part), I just don't think I can bring one of these into my life. To me, that's like saying "You know what I need? More fleece! And more sweatpants! Big baggy ones!" I mean, it's in the same direction. The direction I'm trying not to go in.

Okay, true confession time (now that I've alienated anyone who might want one of these): will any of you be making McCall's 5970? Do any of you own a Snuggie? Don't be shy. Jump right in.

Capes: Yea or Nay?

I've been having an ongoing cape dilemma. You see, I bought this pattern last winter. I think the short little capelet (view #2) is darling. But when I try to imagine myself actually wearing it, I'm afraid I'd look a tad ridiculous. (In an adorable Mary Poppins sort of way perhaps, but ridiculous nonetheless.) I mean, where am I going to wear a capelet? To the office? Granted, I work in a very artsy environment, but I still don't think I'd be able to take myself seriously at work while wearing a tiny cape. I mean, really.

But just a couple weeks ago, I found myself with another capelet pattern. Well, in fairness, I bought the pattern you see below strictly for the dress - I love the shape of the midriff. But yet again, I found myself inexplicably drawn to the idea of the capelet.

Isn't it fantastic in that blue and white check with the green cummerbund? Still, I have a gut feeling that this is a style that works best on illustrations, not people.

I decided I needed some empirical evidence to back up my beliefs on the matter. So, I was browsing in Anthropologie on a lunch break the other day, and tried on this little cape:

Looks cute on the dress form, right? It did not look so cute on me. The widest part fell precisely at my waist - this didn't exactly create a flattering silhouette, if you see what I mean. But still . . . if a capelet fell above the elbow, would this problem be solved? Or are capes just not a wearable style for the modern gal?

Capes: yea or nay, ladies?

Project Runway and Avant Garde Fashion: WTF?

Last night's Project Runway included the now-familiar "avant garde" design challenge. I have to admit, I've always been a bit bemused by these episodes. It seems that, at least to PR contestants, avant garde means there is required to be at least one huge poufy or sculptural thing extending from the model's body, like Irina and Johnny's design, pictured above.

Why, I wondered, in the world of Project Runway, does avant-garde always mean playing with volume? I suspect it has much to do with the nature of Project Runway itself, that little fashion tempest in a teapot. Considering that the very definition of avant-garde is something that opens boundaries of art forms, is it really feasible to conceive, design, and create an avant-garde look in one day?

I think that's the thing that's always bothered me about these PR challenges: the avant-garde project seems like an afterthought, something to be whipped together. So the designers rush around like the insane, taking breaks to whine at each other, and then end up just plopping a big pouf of organza on a model's shoulder and crossing their fingers that they don't get cut.

In reality, I suspect that experimental looks actually require a lot more planning and technical expertise than traditional designs. As we've seen, to try to be a "conceptual" designer on Project Runway is to essentially be ridiculous - and a death wish, competitively speaking. Just this season, we've met the unforgivably weird Ari Fish, who was cut for her "disco soccer ball halter diaper," and then the ethereally annoying Malvin who was axed for his bizarre chicken/egg take on fertility for the maternity challenge. I think we all collectively groaned when he primly posited that he was "just too conceptual for America."

Oddly enough, the designs I've seen on PR that have felt the most avant garde to me were Chris March's from the All-Star Challenge. His minimalistic and monastic creations seemed both beautiful and ominious, evoking something beyond just clothes. (Maybe he wasn't napping through the challenge, he was just thinking really hard.)

But I suppose this all opens up the question: what the hell is avant-garde fashion anyway? What makes a design truly experimental, in the way avant-garde theatre or art is experimental? And I'm afraid that's one I'm not prepared to answer. I guess I just wish the producers, judges, and contestants of Project Runway were.

And you, lovely readers? What do you think of the avant garde challenges? Also, any fashion nerds out there that could help out with some historical context?

Do I Spy a Leg O' Mutton Sleeve in the New SewStylish Magazine?!

In this post, I made fun of the leg o' mutton sleeve. It's just one of those vintage styles that I can't imagine coming back into fashion. I mean, the name alone is ridiculous. What woman wants her arm compared to a cut of meat? We might as well call it the ham hock sleeve.

So imagine my surprise when I received an e-mail from Taunton Press with the image above. It's a sneak peek at some of the looks in the SewStylish fall 2009 issue. That clearly appears to be a leg o' mutton sleeve on the model. She's ready to party like it's 1899!

Will any of you be sewing a look like this? Am I alone in my feelings about the leg o' mutton?

I have mixed feelings in general about SewStylish magazine. There are usually a lot of "what were they thinking?!" styles in each issue. Exhibit A: the cover of the upcoming fall issue.

What is that on her head? A turban? A kerchief? And let's talk about that jacket. Actually, let's not.

But then there's always something that keeps me buying SewStylish. Exhibit B: skirt #2.

I was a finalist in SewStylish's Spring Fashion contest, to a bit of infamy. I'm hoping they'll have another contest in the Fall issue. You know I can't resist a contest.

What are your thoughts about SewStylish? Will you be buying this issue?