Readers, a journey of a thousand miles can begin with a single pattern for apron chaps. Let's take another moment to thank ZipZapKap, who brought them into our life. (And visit her fab Etsy shop here!) Inspired by these apron chaps, you lovely readers have sent me many truly awful submissions for the Most Awesomely Bad Pattern EVER contest. You came up with some serious contenders for the coveted title, and it was very hard to narrow it down to three. But now, without further ado, I present to you the finalists.1. Anna sent in this ladies' jumpsuit from the 90's, complete with a lacy bib. Anna says, "Worst look ever. I do not miss the 90's. These could only be worse made in plaid flannel!"
2. From Sonya, "a more formal look for your cat." (Also: what's going on with the backpack-like contraptions?)
3. And last but certainly not least, Sarah sent in this men's jumpsuit pattern, "the one on the left being the real winner here." (Don't count out the mustard yellow version, though--styled with a lovely gold medallion!)
Take the poll to make your voice heard! Voting will close this Friday at Midnight (EST). May the most awesomely bad pattern win!
Being the co-owner of five cats, I had to vote for the cat accessories, but the first one is awful, too... But I can't imagine putting anything like that on a cat, so that pattern would be a complete waste of paper, ink and money. Someone might do something reasonable with the other two... I can't imagine how, but it could be possible, because with humans it's always their problem what they are wearing. Not so with the cats. (Note: Read Terry Pratchett's Unadulterated Cat for some reasoning in this line, and much more funny one...)
ReplyDeleteWow, those are impressive. I remember those jumpsuits--I had so many dresses in that style, but jumpsuits never.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to post the other contestant patterns that didn't make the finals, right? Please!!
I was trying to imagine how most middle-aged men would look with their spare tires around the middle in that jumpsuit. It gave me such a laugh that I had to vote for that one.
ReplyDeleteOh, I had to vote for the ladies jumpsuit. It made me cringe in remembered horror.
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely a tough one. All three are worthy contenders. Trudy, I remember actually seeing middle-aged men with the spare tires wearing those things. They were always baby blue. Awesome indeed.
ReplyDeleteI don't actually believe that the first one can be anything other than an insanely cruel joke.. My vote went there!
ReplyDeleteMy Grandpa wore one of these jumpsuit things every day after he retired in 1978 (he was a CPA). I'm guessing that Grandma had this pattern (or one like it) because she sewed everything including his pajamas and bow ties. I guess after a lifetime of suits this look said "ultimate comfort" to Grandpa...yikes!
ReplyDeleteThe mind reels. I'm afraid my vote is going to take some serious consideration here. These are such heavy-hitting contenders that I can't make a snap judgment -- I may need a televised debate between the three.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. It might be fun to watch someone try to put a backpack on their cat.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of sad to say that I think I owned a jumpsuit that looked not unlike that at all. Thankfully it was 5th grade before anyone really noticed. I barely dodged a bullet there.
ReplyDeleteUh, a difficult one. But my vote goes to number one. I would like to go for the mens jumpsuit, but I remember Sean Connery wearing a baby-blue jumpsuit in Goldfinger and that kind of makes it cool, doesn't it? Wanna see a picture of Bond in a jumpsuit... this was the only picture I could find: http://www.mi6.co.uk/images/stills/gf_12_280.jpg
ReplyDeleteHoly smokes that 80s jumpsuit is a thing of horror. That's probably not just the worst pattern ever, but the worst piece of clothing ever. That beats my submission by a mile, I'm sorry to say!
ReplyDeleteI had to vote for #1, he 90's jumpsuit, because as a four year old in 1991, instead of getting a new pretty Easter dress, my mother chose a terrrrrrrrible floral jumpsuit, with exactly that collar and volume. I am scowling in every single photo that year, and am apparently still bitter.
ReplyDeleteACK! that jump suit! AHHH!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to elect it as awesomely bad.. but there is NOTHING anywhere near awesomely about it.
JUST SCARY!! omg.
Oooh, that jumpsuit is a sight to behold... I still don't believe anything can beat the 'pinnie-chaps' for surreal badness, but jumpsuit has to come a close second!
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally, I came across this site today which includes a wide variety of very funny vintage pattern covers - http://clothedminds.blogspot.com/
Some are just goofy, but others are really very awesomely bad! Had me chuckling for ages and I still haven't gone through half the posts.
It was the cat backpack that clinched it for me.
ReplyDeleteWhere do I lodge a complaint? I wanted to vote for more than one! LOL But had to finally narrow it down to the last one. I can not even conjur up the image of some man with the bloused legs of this horrible jumpsuit. Horrible.
ReplyDeletesimplicity did a whole line of pet patterns. If I remember right, it included several that had matching human portions, so you and your dog could match. the drugs were so much better in the 70s.
ReplyDeletehttp://sew-n-sewpatterns.mybisi.com/product/69503/Simplicity-3973-Dogs-Kids-Matching-Hat-Coat-PATTERN-Santa_695451.html
for instance, if you ahve an urge to buy one.
A televised debbate, Pattern Junkie? it sounds like a surrealistic nightmare...
ReplyDeleteAs men (and women, isn't it, Rosie the riveter?) actually sometimes have to wear these jumpsuits for work, I don't think it is that silly (but ok, styling is atrocious). And whatever it is, I can't figure an animal pattern that wouldn't be silly, so this vote would be for the whole category.
So I chose the ladies jumpsuit, as it is both impractical, toroughly ugly in its design, and that as a cherry on the cake (and even if I like stripes, polka dots and flowers) I find its styling atrocious!
omg!! my mother made me that ladies jumpsuit--maybe the kids version of that very pattern!!--when i was 12!! it was made out of blue ticking with pink hearts--ugh!! now to make sure that no photos of me in that horrid ensemble exist....how embarrassing!
ReplyDeleteOHMYGOODNESS... are you actually meant to wear the bib jumpsuit OUTSIDE!?!?!?!?! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteThe 1st jumpsuit. I don't think fashion ever got more awful than that.
ReplyDeleteStunningly dreadful. I have a stash of my grnadmother's mags from the 1950s-1980s with some wonderful awfulness - but nothing quite this terrific.
ReplyDeleteI...wore #1. My grandma made that for me, but she took off the bib thing. D:
ReplyDeleteOh gertie, I'm sitting here shaking and crying with laughter. This post has made my day! BTW my doggie Alf wants me to resize the cat pattern. Where can I get it!
ReplyDeleteI had to go with the 90s jumpsuit--if only because I remember things like this (and *gulp* wearing them!), and still cringe at the memory. lol!
ReplyDeleteHey! I like cat clothes!
ReplyDeletegagtastic!
ReplyDeleteNumber two pretty much combines all the worst elements of every bad outfit I wore in the early 1990s as a little girl. Just add some cabbage roses on a black background, and you are set!
ReplyDeleteThe Renegade Bean
Dear God. Imma let you all finish voting, but that women's jumpsuit is definitely some of the worst pattern of all time! OF ALL TIME!!!
ReplyDeleteI like the cat pattern too - seriously, it's cute. My three cats wore lace collars on my wedding day - bridesmaid's outfits.
My daughters wore those jumpsuits when they were teenagers and I personally thought they were so cute.
ReplyDeleteBut the cat accesories yuck to each his own I suppose
the mental image of mustard jumpsuit guy trying to retain any dignity while using a urinal is hard to wipe from my mind, but the 90's adult baby jumpsuit wins by a hair..
ReplyDeleteit's a contest between the apron chaps and the bibbed jumpsuit but the bibbed jumpsuit won in the end. it's really tres awful.
ReplyDeletethe men's jumpsuits are not too bad considering how many people wear similar stuff on factory floors.
as for the cat accessories.....i can't imagine any feline willing to be subject to such indignities.
I think it looks lovley!
ReplyDeleteUm, I totally had #1. Maybe two of them. I'm a child of the 80s whose mother kept sewing way past when I asked her to. Saddest part? I ALWAYS got compliments on that outfit (in my defense, it was a lovely shade of olive with red ribbon trim on the collar in place of the lace, but still).
ReplyDeleteThe men's pattern could be made into an awesome Star Trek costume so it still has some merit :)
ReplyDeleteThe cat stuff!! That is so funny. It really makes me laugh. I don't like clothes on animals but this is hilarious.
ReplyDeletePoor kitty... I made my cat a t-shirt (he was licking himself so much his skin was raw so had to stop him somehow) and he HATED me for it. Do people really make these things?