Let's take a moment to thank ZipZapKap, who brought to our attention her 70's McCall's pattern for apron chaps, which have to be the most sublimely horrible thing I've ever seen. Seriously, I'm (practically) speechless. It got me in the mood for a little contest here at my Blog for Better Sewing. So, I'm sending out a call for entries: can you top these apron chaps?Please send your entry for MOST AWESOMELY BAD PATTERN EVER to me at gertie [at] blogforbettersewing [dot] com. Or post a link to your entry in the comments here! It's up to you to decide what makes a pattern awesomely bad: the design in general, the pattern art, etc. Patterns from all decades (including now) are up for entry.
The exact details of the prize are TBD, but I'm thinking it will be the pattern of your choice ($20 or less) on Etsy.
You have until the end of the day of Friday, 11/13. I'll then choose my top three and post a poll to let you choose the winner!
Update: Enter as many times as you like!
It's not a pattern, but it's awesomely bad so I thought you'd enjoy the shudder. I present: the CuddleRoo! Like the Snuggie but with nauseating cat embroidery and, wait for it...a pouch to put your cat in!
ReplyDeleteSorry, should have said:Look at it here
ReplyDeleteOh dear goodness. I have no bad patterns, but...I hope to god that one takes the cake. I'm quite scared to see if worse exists!
ReplyDeleteIs it really bad though...that I'd be tempted to make those JUST for the hilarity factor....?
Can't type...laughing too hard...coffee all over keyboard... If there's worse out there I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow. Those are horrid!
ReplyDeleteYears ago I had a 70s pattern for knickers with inlaid circular patchwork. I still regret not holding onto it and perhaps framing it!
This pattern that Erin featured on Dress A Day might just give Apron Chaps a run for their money, hard to say: http://www.dressaday.com/2008/02/whats-up-buttercup.html
So bad they're almost good.
ReplyDeleteHanna, OMG! I need one of those damn CuddleRoos. I love how you can pay installments too.
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't think I can top the apron chaps...unless you want to see the knitted hot pants!!
ReplyDeleteMan, those are BAD! The daisy dress does come in a close second though. If it was labeled as a costume it wouldn't be so bad...either one really. But as a functioning piece of attire???
ReplyDeleteNope I can;t top those. If someone can they well deserve a free pattern!
Ummm ……… okay ……… Apron Chaps. I can certainly see a need for apron chaps. I'm squatting at the campfire, cooking beans. My knees are apart because it easier to balance that way. If I were wearing a regular apron, one of my legs would be sticking out of the apron and I would spill beans on that leg.
ReplyDeleteNo. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I don't see a need for apron chaps. (I do love the lace, though!) I can't wait to see what other entries turn up.
Wait, do those ones in the photo have RUFFLES?
ReplyDeleteI don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wow! Between the Apron Chaps and the CuddleRoo, my day has been made. Obviously, the apron chaps designers were on some strong psychedelics at the time. But, hey, it was the 70's.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to say I have nothing to top that. All my kitschy cool patterns are pointless after experiencing the Apron Chaps.
This one kind of hit my funny bone. Look, it's Reba McEntire without pants:
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/ykkhbkr
Wow. Apron chaps. No way.
ReplyDeleteAre we limited to one entry?
I swear I saw someone make that pattern once through a link from Tie One On but I can't find it now. They were quite cute in modern fabric without the trim. It's the 70's-ishness of the design that is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else think that the orange shirt girl has her hand on the bum of her BBQ sweetie?
Oh I did come across this: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33621258
ReplyDeleteNot quite as good as the chaps, but it may be amusing.
hahaha, what a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI found this pattern for sale on etsy once and was disturbed by the barbie 80s glam wedding dress: http://lh5.ggpht.com/_NI9D6wFyXQw/SpGSVBA3xiI/AAAAAAAAAzE/7dcDPI13a0k/MC+CALLS+CRAFT+3880.jpg
Also, I'm having a november giveaway on my blog that I think you might like, Gertie!! (a painted portrait of the winner :)
I have cats and still think that's horrible! LOL Since you can use it as a pillow TOO, should you leave the cat in the pouch for stuffing??? ;)
ReplyDeleteApron chaps wow! this is bad.
ReplyDeleteSuch an awesome contest!
Earlier today, I bought 2 men's '70s patterns at the local thrift store just for giggles. But there is no way can they top the apron chaps! Thanks for the laugh today though.
ReplyDeleteCatherine, I had that etsy sun hat marked as a favorite -- I seriously wanted to make it, but little things (my wedding, my job) got in the way. It's so awesome it's fabulous!
ReplyDeleteI can't get the apron chaps out of my head. Why don't they go all the way to the tops of the models' shoes? For that matter, what about the sides of the thighs? Really, if you're going to follow the shaky logic that gets you to apron chaps, shouldn't you just go all the way to apron pants?!
I found this one at a yard sale for a dime and just sold it on my Etsy site, I think it's horrid.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=20840661
PatternJunkie... please know I mean no offense, of course :)
ReplyDeleteDevastatingly, I would have had a solid two dozen entries for this--many, many classic patterns from the late 80s/early 90s neo-Victorian era spring to mind--but our house flooded six weeks ago and over 1000 of my patterns got eaten by the waters (that IS three zeroes, by the way--it was painful). Maybe I can dig a fantastic one out of those that survived...
ReplyDeleteOMG this was so funny, I am crying at the apron chaps and cuddle-roo ("with a pocket to store your cat, remote, snacks and more" - $60 for the pattern too!). I am sort of tempted to make some for Christmas gifts!!
ReplyDeleteIn defense of apron chaps, they do come in handy for wheel-thrown pottery when your legs are wrapped around a pottery wheel and mud is splattering everywhere. The studio where I take lessons sells them, although they're not quite as guh-roovy as these.
ReplyDeleteThe apron chaps are awesome...must keep those bell bottoms nice and clean, eh?
ReplyDeleteI found this one:
http://vintagepatterns.wikia.com/wiki/Folkwear_108
Are those really flowers that he's giving her? That one behind his back looks rather sharp...but my favorite bit is from the back "Make one for smaller people with Little Kittel #110."
@emadethis: I LOVE this style! I actually saw some similar stuffs at a Russian popular costume exhibition and seriously considered making some for myself (to wear them with boots and very long braids). And I find this reversible sunhat weirdly graceful too...
ReplyDeleteI might be an awsomely bad pattern addict, after all. Maybe it'll get worse and I'll buy the apron chaps?
Hahah, I'm delighted to have horrified so many people. In my 3000 strong pattern collection, I have yet to find anything quite as offensive as apron chaps.
ReplyDeleteThe CuddleRoo is hilarious. So many times I've been eating cheetos and watching Sister Act, just wishing I had some way to store a cat about my person....
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ReplyDeleteWhy apron chaps? How do someone come up with something like that? It´s so bad I almost want it.
ReplyDeleteI dont think any of mine is quite as horrific, but anyway... http://cyclamenred.blogspot.com/2009/11/most-awesomely-bad-pattern-ever-contest.html
Thank you Gertie. I saw where you recently made a top with a tie too. I love all of your stuff.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that vogue lady's hat has to be perfect for a night on the town. Made correctly, you would be starting out with a lampshade on your head. Unfortunately, all hats make me look like Cousin Itt.
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously, I really like that Black Forest Smock, except for the part where (unlike the illustration) every time you bent over, all that material would bag out in front of you, causing drafts, at least. I know! little tabs inside to button or tie or velcro onto your undergarments! Or maybe smocking.
Surely every dog needs a bunting and matching bonnet? for those times that you aren't carrying him or her around in your purse?
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/y8mw4wh
I, um, am addicted to vintage patterns. Especially kids' patterns because I love sewing for my niece and nephew. I tend to buy them in large lots on ebay... as a result, I believe I can help you. *very evil grin* How about a jumpsuit that looks like a blob with arms and legs? I should look through my latest acquisitions, too. Friend of mine gave me six garbage bags full of patterns and IIRC there are some pretty awful ones in there.
ReplyDeleteMight take me a bit to dig them out. I just got access back to my sewing closet yesterday, because of the flooding in my area--my brother's bed was leaning up against the door until we got the new carpet put back in downstairs...
@ Meli88a: Oh. my. god.
ReplyDeleteKeep 'em coming, everyone!
how about this one? Feathers on a formal dress for your dog. I mean...really? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34091811&ref=sr_gallery_6&&ga_search_query=dress&ga_search_type=category&category=patterns.sewing&ga_page=3&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title
ReplyDeleteOkay, it's on! Now I gotta go diggin' through my patterns...I know there's some *good* ones in there!
ReplyDeleteWow...apron chaps. I'm not sure anyone can top 'em. Though I do wonder what Charles Suppon was smoking when he designed this vest: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29638892
ReplyDeleteHere's two I came across today:
ReplyDeleteFirst up the men's jumpsuit -- the one on the left being the real winner here.
But everyone's fave today was this one, it's the...well, you'll just have to look.
And hey, two men's patterns that aren't boring!! Not exactly...good...but not boring!
Ok.... I found too many! Here's my faves.
ReplyDeleteA lovely pattern for men:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3195/2927934879_c07c784382.jpg
A more more formal look for your cat:
http://www.feeddoggle.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/tie_pattern-206x300.jpg
Perfect if you were ever invited to a teddy bears picnic!
http://cdn3.ioffer.com/img/item/107/904/793/o_fXDqcTanUQanE8b.jpg
And for you Matrix lovers:
http://images.patternreview.com/sewing/patterns/simplicity/5386/5386.jpg
This isn't a sewing pattern or even a specific pattern per se, but you really should read Rose Kim's What the Hell is This Thursdays, where she posts about terrible knitting patterns.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought I didn't know of any awesomely bad patterns to top these, but then I looked through my mom's collection of old German pattern magazines Pramo (aka Praktische Mode) and found these costume patterns:
ReplyDeletehttp://img25.imageshack.us/img25/2094/pramo11990ruber.jpg
It's from the January issue of 1990 and it's supposed to be a pair of bandits. I can hardly imagine anything awesomely worse than a pattern for rags.
I haven't laughed that hard (re:chaps apron) in a long time. What's even funnier are the pants on the guy in the pattern pix. I can't believe we (I) used to dress in those fabrics. ;o
ReplyDeleteAhhaha, great thread!
ReplyDeleteI can only recommend the book "Threadbared" - available on Amazon. It is sooo pee-your-pants-funny - I just love it.
i found your blog on burdastyle. love it! i don't have a pattern to share but OMW those apron pants are beawesome in such a bad way!!
ReplyDeleteI think that anyone over the age of 2 should not be wearing this pattern. http://www.simplicity.com/p-3645-misses-dresses-cynthia-rowley-collection.aspx
ReplyDeleteAwesomely bad apron chaps. All the mens sewing patterns I come acroiss have men with cigars, the pj man with a golf club is priceless. Thanks for the great giveaway.
ReplyDelete