And yet! Give these knickers some lace insets and call them "retro high-waisted panties" and suddenly everyone loves them. (And will pay upwards of $20-38 a pair as well.)
So, as promised in my title, here is my defense of the granny pant. Which, yes, I do kind of think we should all start calling "high-waisted retro panties," thank you very much.
1. You'll get a smooth line. If you're looking for an hourglass figure, you can't do much better than a longline bra with some high-waisted undergarment on bottom. You don't want a strip of exposed flesh between your bra and your knickers, ruining your nice shapely curves, do you? Goodness no!
2. They work beautifully with retro and vintage clothes, like high-waisted trousers and skirts. And we all know how important the foundation garment is to the ensemble.
3. Tummy control. Nothing's better than a high-waisted undergarment for a smooth midsection.
4. No muffin top. They end where your waist is!
5. They're not as frumpy as you think. In my advice, I'd say ditch the nylon varieties, which can be weirdly baggy in all the wrong places. Get a nice microfiber, like these. (Love the pink color!) For more shaping, go with a classic Rago Lacette.
6. Bettie Page. Enough said.
7.. You can customize them. I've been known to sew stretch lace insets onto the front of my unmentionables and top them off with a cute little bow. (Tutorial, anyone?)
8. They're perfect with full skirts. No unexpected breezes! Snug pencil skirts will require a long leg girdle or Spanx to avoid panty lines, however.
9. Duh, they're comfortable.
All right, I've said my piece. I hope you will join me in my anti-defamation mission for the much-maligned granny panty. Join the cause, sisters!